Star Wars, by a child who has never seen Star Wars

Went to see the Adorable Nephews on Thursday and they lived up to their billing. Nephew #1, age 8, has recently started playing the cello and provided a rendition of "Go Tell Aunt Rosie", sending everyone into nostalgia fits remembering when we all learned the same piece on our assorted instruments. Nephew #2, age "nearly 5" has been given my old Star Wars figures from the 70s and 80s, and has constructed elaborate stories for them. We played Star Wars for ages - my parents had kept the figures, the birth certificates I made for them all (yes, really) and even the half-finished sticker books. Playing Star Wars mostly involved me sending baddies to fight R2-D2 and his army of Ewoks. As we went through all the old figures, many held together with glue and metal thanks to the restoration work of my dad, he told me the best Star Wars theory ever.

Me: Oh, look, it's Anakin Skywalker*.

Nephew: Yes, he's Luke's dad. And Darth Vader says he's Luke's dad, but he's lying. He murdered and killed Anakin Skywalker.

Obviously, because Darth Vader is a baddie! One day he'll see the movies and be very surprised! His parents intend to show them in the original screening order, not the chronological order.

He's identified most of the figures as goodies or baddies, but asked me (very seriously) about the rest. Boba Fett is his absolute favourite and he was very interested to hear that Boba Fett wasn't really a goodie or a baddie, but he worked for Darth Vader. He asked if Boba Fett would work for Luke and was very pleased with the answer that he didn't in the movies, but he probably would. I think there's a tiny Luke & Boba friendshipper there!


*The old, bald version of Anakin, not the remastered version!